Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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