Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize