Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
A+ Viking dick
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
