Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
