Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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