Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize