Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
