Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
