anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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