You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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