in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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