Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
