you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
