Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
