we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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