I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
