I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize