Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
