he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
