Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
