After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
birth control should be required to get into college
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
