saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
