I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
