When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize