The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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