I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
