i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
