I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
