Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
bring money and cleavage
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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