She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
