I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
