so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
