Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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