I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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