hotel room ftw
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize