I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
