i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
