Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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