I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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