Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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