6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
