either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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