i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
