I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize