It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
