I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
