never play flip cup with pint glasses
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
