ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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