make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
