Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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