I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
