guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
