Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
