I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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