This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
