There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
