Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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