My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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