At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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