how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
