I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
