omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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