why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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